发如雪（原创）--东村●牛仔

发如雪（原创）　

酷★牛仔 BY - 2008-1-2 18:08:00

Preface: We are all prisoners of our past.

Dad‘s hair

Dad returned home from outside, I caught sight a thin layer of snow on his hair, shoulder, and clothes collars the minute he came in. At This moment mom would always step up as quickly as possible, clean the snow covered all over dad’s clothes with a small broom. As a little child, I was jumping around the stove, yelling in an exciting manner. “It’s snowing” “it’s snowing " and then ran to the window. looking out of the glass I noticed that light came from the corner of eaves, pour on the ground, ground already shining white do not have a thread of blemish one piece,the full flour , snowflake drift down like shop from overhead , display bright innumerable phantom under the light yellow lamp light.

Time flies, the beautiful snowflakes have given me a deep impression. They touch my soul profundity, and frequently dodging my heart secret anguish, I felt a dull ache in my heart and remembered clearly the snow on father's shoulder and something relevant to it.
I used to come back to my hometown for the winter holidays , father general association goes visiting one's relatives from door to door with I. I am his pride in self's eyes in the father, everybody has a clever college student son to knowing father, but I am not flavor on every occasion this moment, in the heart very much. Where he knows only when elementary school level of education father and land have stricken the greater part of self's life dealing, now college student weeds is alike many if the brae is upper. I am having a halo only , I am also only in the heart clear , I can not act as the college student for lifetime , I am father's son but for ever and ever. Relative long way leaking sometimes, time of the day is already dark , overtake by chance when going home to there be snow falling, biting cold wind is mingled with the snow granule , is blowing on the face since coming, be resembling still pin thorn cheek. Whether inquiry "ignores" father at this time always without stop or not and advice me to use nose breath, not to use a mouth, such is only capable to do avoiding sucking cool air in arouse tussis. I am promising on the mouth , am giving no heed in the heart but , am hurrying on with the journey merely. Father a flashlight is leaking in at the head , is holding, he knows my sight is difficult to hold the flashlight illumination right away to the full, before me , light is reflected on the snowfield , especially dazzling, to such an extent that road that I look at only clearly underfooting, but, the unclear father of resolution where to intuition leaks , is based on, I can feel that he is in block of wood distance right away , the body is other in me, the veil of night having entered black despite of the entire people already dissolves. Have several time , father to slip underfooting , dispatch point to fall, elevate the snow foam a sheet of on the road surface, father is that heart is anxious to outdo others , the stubborn people of temperament, comes say to him , fall before son to being to have to have no a reputation what , appear very laborious therefore he lays bare the body being tilting immediately. I want to lean on his handful in the past in a hurry , may one kind of Mo name embarrassment, and be that up to cowardly but come, have dispeled this idea. Later , deeply the self-accusation is able to have raided the heart , not falling apart for a long , long time. After father composes in reply my one such first one in the evening in winter,walk in going home on the way. Step on except the foot within the snowfield "Ca, Ca " leap up out disheartened one squirrel in sound and the brushwood once in a while from the wayside,the "rustle" sounds with wizened branch Nong De . I think that the world is so quiet , be so quiet as to be able to hear body inner blood flowing on in the blood vessel , pour being arousing oppressive emotion. What some, probably from outsider's point of view our could it be said that true unable exchange, that two generation person has no way to communicate with is very regular. But, I firmly believe that having one kind of love is to silent , to need not communicate with , to be able to only response all the time. Almost annual queen's a winter, I ramble in alone in street within the city not having snow. Here temperature is very high , snow does not arrive in the world, will have already become the raindrop and fog, the boundless dense fog and rainwater become dusky with everything, such as London inside the old film. A moment is not quiet on a muddy road , how same as me so young person, the fault , chatting and laughing is leaking , is complaining that from here, rebelling against writing full youth on simple face. Get along in the neighbourhood corner, street cleaner who being getting on in years along one place coming over over, I am holding a flashlight as if having seen that very year , am convoying in being that we escort the Emperor along father being not one , but being millions upon millions of be going against snow in father , inside the snowfield. I stop for nothing , somebody uses faint light to illuminate front road because of the general association. Every now and again, that the paragraph of time , father come to telephone dozen , ask me to pay attention to keeping warm, to avoid catching cold, condition being burning also incidentally asking about a job, I pull some causually in the mouth other the thing prevaricates over , moreover, advise him to be at ease , not feeling anxious, the job makes stable very quickly right away. He does not have also just many what to say. Almost, Heaven's Queen , my train pour a passenger car , are fatigued with the journey driving back a family. Father knows I am honest in perplexed circumstance , the thing working had not mentioned also again , say only "return well , return having taken pains without family " but backward I come to know his one people hiding quietly within the corner smoking , frown deeply , am cumbered with care in the day,he never smoked in the past. A day had been eating at the noon, I have been watching TV in the room , father has been pushing the door abruptly coming in , has been carrying one bottle liquor in self's hand in one's hands , has been hanging in the face exceptional smiling expression "will celebrate the New Year soon , buy a liquor " speak he bends down placing winebottle son on the end table. I have covered up with a layer of snow at that moment, on seeing father hair suddenlyly, the nose can not help sour one , being moved by a mixture of feelings in the heart. The window outside , sunlight are dismal to not there be snow falling ,that once wipes white on the father head , mother is beaten forever also not having lost, it has already been in the careless room , has become grey hair quietly

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